Everything was enveloped by a big smoke cloud as Mr. Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady took that great big puff on that magical pipe of his. In the background I could hear his muffled, mutterings about 863 new toys, a disappearing miniature elephant that went "Boom Boom" and stamped its feet, and a small boy that did not know the meaning of worthwhile.

In less time than it takes you to reach the ice cream man after you first hear the bell, the smoke cleared. I almost jumped out of my skin because standing beside me, or I should say towering above me, was a 60 foot high pink elephant stamping its feet and saying "BOOM BOOM."

When I jumped, I bumped Mr.McReady and knocked him off his feet with a big KERPLUNK. Let me tell you, things were a bit bewildering. I cannot say I recommend the experience. Being next to a 60 foot high pink elephant that is stamping its feet and shouting "BOOM BOOM" at the top of its lungs, is not a joy and a picnic.

The ground shook, the heavens rumbled, and I looked for cover, half afraid of being squooshed, and half afraid that elephant had not been housebroken, for I was standing in exactly the wrong place.

"Hold it. Hold it." Mr. ArchibaId J. X. McWondrous McReady shouted above the din. "I made a slight miscalculation."

While still prone on the ground, another puff of smoke he blew on that wonderful pipe of his. When the smoke cleared, that 60 foot high elephant had shrunk down to 6 inches. The foot stomping became bearable, and the boom booms were no longer terrifying and traumatic, but rather musical and mystifying.

Then I noticed the mountain of toys, 863 to be exact. New toys, old toys, antique toys, and toys advertised on TV, baseball gloves, kites of every description, three different kinds of roller blades, and four bikes, an archery set, tiddledywinks, and backgammon too, were part of that pile. Barbie was there, as well as the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and Gl Joe. Skis, forty-two stuffed animals, skittles, and a sewing Machine, an ark with Noah, fourteen computers and games I saw.

"Well!" said Mr. Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady, "Is this worthwhile?"

Before I could answer, he whispered a word in my ear. I repeated it aloud once, and that tiny elephant vanished before my eyes into thin air. Repeating the magical chant once again caused that elephant to reappear completely with stamping feet and boom booms.

Try it now? You want me to try the word this very minute.

I would if I could, but, I must admit I have forgotten those magical words over the years. You see as I grew oIder, I lost part of my faith, and when you lose part of your faith, you tend to forget magical things. Maybe one day not too far away, you will meet Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady, and he will tell you the magic words so you can remind me.

Mr. McReady could see that l was quite pleased with my 863 new toys as my eyes were wide and my tongue was hanging out. Not being able to decide which toy to play with first, and being typical; that is, a bit spoiled like most of today's boys and girls, I was not quite satisfied. Things seemed to be too good to be true to me, and when things are too good to be true something is sure to foul things up. And that is exactly what I did. Even though no problems existed, satisfied I was not. Without realizing what I was doing and letting my worries and wonder numb my brain, I began to complain.

"How can we get all these toys in the car?", I asked.

"Would Dad be willing to rent a truck?

"Where would l keep the toys?

"Would the factories honor the guarantees, for surely so many toys would rapidly break?

"If I put the toys in my room, I would have to sIeep in the bathtub because there wouId be no room for me."

Then before I even started playing, I complained some more.

"Who would I play with.

"The bike is yellow, and I like blue.

"This will get broken, and this won' t last."

"This I already have.

"This one's no good and that one too."

"STOP, STOP, STOP," shouted Mr. Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady. "Bicker and carp is all you do. Obviously, these toys must not be worthwhile."

Before I could move a muscle, or open my mouth to protest, he took a puff on that magic meerschaum, and when the smoke cleared, the entire mountain of toys had disappeared. I was left with one empty cardboard carton, a used up tube of model cement, and three ball bearings from some broken rollerblades.

Sad was I and awful was the way I must have looked, because Mr. McReady said in a kind voice, "Do not fret, think of the good, not the bad, and, remember, worthwhileness is not an easy thing to understand."

"Mr. Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady," I asked, "Why do you have to do something worthwhile? With all your magical powers, why don't you just go out and have fun?"

"Have fun," answered Mr. McReady in a voice so gruff, I wished I had started talking about some other stuff, Iike football, or fishing, games, or goodies, dolls, or dollhouses, or even teachers, and school. Too late it was, for he did not give me a second chance to change the topic of conversation .

"Have fun! Have fun! Have fun! Is that all you can think of? Have fun! HUMBUG POO. I've been around for over five thousand years. I got tired of having fun when I watched fat old Nero fiddle, and badly too, while poor Rome burned, and that was almost two thousand years ago.

"Did you ever hunt the purple striped spotted saber toothed tiger in an arctic wasteland during a day six weeks long? I DID.

"Did you ever build a life size model of the Union Pacific Railroad, complete with smoke, buffaloes, Indians, and a used cowcatcher, in another galaxy? I DID.

"Did you ever win a monopoly tournament played with real money, rubies for houses, diamonds for hotels, and a real jail with mean old guards for nine days without a break for anything but some terrific noodle pudding? I DID.

"Did you ever swim the Pacific Ocean from Seattle to Japan with three whales, a dolphin, two pilot fish, and a very large cheerful tuna for company? I DID.

"Did you ever put out a volcano by stuffing it with three icebergs from the North Sea and one ice cream cone from Baskin Robbins? I DID.

"HAVE FUN! HAVE FUN! HAVE FUN! HUMBUG POO!

"If it ever happened, or ever has been done, and even if it has not been thought of, I, Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady, have done it at least twice."

And then in a quieter, kinder voice he said "And you, little one (that is what he always called me even though his top hat did not quite reach my nose), had 863 toys. How long would they have lasted you? An hour or two, or maybe a week or a month, but rather soon most of the toys would break or bore you. But, worthwhile, that is something else. Doing something worthwhile, on the other hand, lasts forever and will always make you smile. Only I am afraid worthwhile must be learned rather than taught."

"Mr. McReady," said I, hoping to change the subject. I would like you to meet my folks, if you would, for I am sure they are not going to believe me when I tell them about you. To you and me, you may be true, but to my folks, a tiny talking frog that calls itself "Mr. Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady" and changes into you, may be hard to take. Magic pipes, mountains of toys, big, white, bushy eyebrows, and a tall top hat of green is not what most people would expect to find on a Sunday picnic in a shady spot not 80 miles from the city."

"I wish that were to be, and that your Mom and Dad could see me, little one." answered Mr. Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady. "But it cannot be, you see, for time stands still when I appear. No one, but no one, except a favored few under the age of fifteen with a little faith, a twinkling in their eyes, and the curiosity of the ages in their hearts can profit from my appearance."

"Come, and l will show you." And with these words he took my hand and led me off. If I had known where we were going and what was in store for me, I wonder if I would have been so brave and gone so quickly. But, I did not, so I went. His touch with its cheerful grip, so smooth and nice, solid and stable, warm and friendly, comforted me.

With a light step, almost like walking on air, we turned the bend, and I saw Mom and Dad. Dad was in the middle of a snore, and Mom was in the middle of a word. Both seemed so content, suspended in time. Dad's watch was stopped, a falling leaf was frozen in mid air, and time did not seem to move.

I was surprised that I was not afraid, but with Mr. McReady, I knew everything was all right. Sure enough, reading my thoughts, he said, "Don' t worry. When we get back everything will be as it was. Our travels will be a secret, yours and mine, bound with an oath for twenty years, until you have children of your own to tell."

"What trip? Where are we going?" asked I.

"Here, there, and everywhere," answered Mr. Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady. "To seek adventure, dare the unknown, have a little fun, brave the bewildering, learn a little, flirt with danger, rescue a beautiful princess from a slimy sorcerer, and most of all teach you about worthwhile."

And in a great puff of smoke we were gone.

Smoke, smoke, and more smoke. If not for the reassuring hand of Mr. McReady, I am sure I would have fallen forever, like an astronaut stuck eternally in a broken space ship. But, holding on to that firm, warm hand I was able to control my fears and keep from politely asking if I could go back to Mom and Dad.

Gradually the smoke began to clear, and we were on firm ground again. I could see we were in a beautiful green meadow. The meadow was cool and calm with lush green grass and a small pond. A narrow path twisted off in the distance. On the horizon in every direction, huge forbidding snow capped mountains looked down on us. In a hidden land were we, known only to Archibald J. X. McWondrous McReady and not to you or me.